THE OCEAN REJECTS NO TEARS you taught me never to talk back that it is ok for a boy to cry i cried into the twelve notes of the spheres you taught me that was too depressing my deft roses furled i cried with my fists you denounced that too (never your bombs) you told me to get a job dismissed me one by one i cried with ink you taught me that was not fit to writ i cried with the flowers you just won't liberate what only hurts myself i cried in colour i cried in black and white you taught me i just ripped off Rothko that i wasn't outgoing or bubbly enough i cried from a script you taught me i am brown i cried with laughter you taught me i was sick and made no sense i cried with my body you taught me that is dirty and that my body is fat i cried with love you taught me no one cares for that now i cry to no one i will cry when i am dead "fare thee well", i'll write in a note that cries "i'm happy", i'll sing in a song that weeps "i love you", i'll scream in a fight that breaks "i can do this", i'll confirm in a job that pays "i love myself", i will affirm sober as a judge smiling, i'll be seen in a painting of a photograph of a photograph of a drawing "to be", i will bellow in a theatre of kindness sweetly, i will laugh in a comedy of innocence my body will cry in a box like you always wanted you won't have to see my tears for the ocean they are dumped in